Log Date: December 21

Time: somewhere around the fourteenth hour.

---

Honestly, of all things to receive on my eighteenth birthday. A new sword would've been nicer. Hell, maybe even a free trip to Prospit with Daniel would've been sufficient. Gog knows that I need the rest.

But a journal?

Not that I'm complaining, at any rate. Darling Daddy could've just forgotten again like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that one... well, I guess you get the gist of it. I have a feeling that the only reason why he remembered was because Daniel and I blasted "Happy Birthday" at top volume on our record player non-stop throughout the palace. At least Daniel was able to commission a new dagger for me. He deserves a thousand boonbucks for that.


On another happy note, Daniel's furious with me.

I told him that I was leaving for the army tomorrow, and he went absolutely insane. He shouted at me for hours, and finally cajoled and pleaded with me not to go. How could I have listened to him? How could I have refused? It was either this- or to remain here for the rest of my life. I'm convinced that this is the only way I can do something worthwhile. I'm not cut out for mystics like the members in the Circle of Horrorterrors, and I certainly can't- and won't- sit and pray for hours on end like the Maidens in the Temple of Life.

Daniel says that I'm doing this just to prove Father wrong. That I'm doing this for myself, and not for him or for the good of Derse. He's not talking to me anymore.

I'm doing something so wrong, but I... Gog. This is stupid. I'm talking to a journal.

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Point, happy birthday to me!

I'm such an idiot.

-PA

Log Date: February 18, 259 (hey, actually remembered to write down the year this time.)

Time: If there are any clocks around here, I'm too tired to get up and search for one.

---

You.

I could've sworn I'd left you back home.

Nevermind. Might as well use this thing while I have it at my disposal. I honestly do not remember throwing this under my clothes, but it's too late to ship this back home or anything. I suppose this second entry finalizes you as my official diary. I've never kept one until now, and looking back on my last entry, God, do I sound like I'm whining or what?

Daniel this, Daniel that. Screw him and his stupid objections to the military. He can go plant pumpkins or something for all I care.

Normally, they wouldn't have let me stay on the training grounds with the other transfers, but being the daughter of a former Commander and all does have its perks. Sometimes. The only downside is that they work us to the bone. The other trainees get to... well, train, spar, whatever you'd like to call it, eat, rest, train some more, and leave for home. I'm on base the entire time, which means I have no one and nothing to go 'home' to. It isn't as comfortable as my palace quarters used to be, and the absence of Daniel's antics is strange, but I'm fitting in pretty well here.

Oh, scratch that. I'm actually pretty lonely. There's no one to talk to. It's a big jump from having friends in regular classes to training with complete strangers.

Enough about that. I'm still sore from practice today. I--

Someone's coming into the room with a fresh candle. Oh. Just a second.

Today, I made a new friend. Say hello to Kairan Sendar. She'll be rooming with me for as long as I stay here.

What exactly is the point of this, Point? Oh! Haha, that's funny!

I... was not aware that I had blue ink, either. Honestly, Kairan? Out of all of the things you could have written, you wrote that? She has no imagination, Diary. And a shitty sense of humor.

Did you see that?! She just addressed a non-sentient thing as if it were alive. You humans have the strangest customs ever! Writing your thoughts and everyday occurrences into a 'diary?' It actually sound stupid.

Ow. Point just hit me. It isn't my fault that you have nothing to do. And don't look at me like that. At least I had the grace to differentiate colors. Does that sound like no imagination to you?

And hey, what d'you think about me utilizing this as well? Y'know, just to bring me up to speed on your daily thoughts and such? I could also fill in on this as well. Gives the reader something different to look at besides your absolutely boring point-of-views.

This is a diary. Diaries are meant to be private. They're MY thoughts, after all. Great. Now I'll have to hide this from Kairan. I doubt that people would want to read this anyways. Stop reading over my shoulder. Now shoo, Kairan.

Yeah, we'll definitely get along really well. Like pumpkins and carrots, or however the saying goes.

I'm going to sleep. Kairan's about to blow the candles out.

-PA-

AND -KS!- >

Log Date: February 28, and you know the year

Time: We're on a shuttle; someone's arm is blocking my view of the clock. Pity.

---

This is where life in the army really started picking up, and I'm not just saying that because of what I'm pretty sure I'm going to go through these next five years.

Let me explain. After a few months, (depending on the person,) a recruit has a choice of remaining on Derse for patrol duty or the ability to go to Skaia for missions. Sounds exciting, right? Admittedly, as interesting (not really) as Derse is, nothing beats out going to Skaia. Nobles usually don't go there since the Black Queen doesn't think that they should be there in the first place, but it's a different story for the army and the carapaces that work there.

I've never been to Skaia before, but Kairan has. Once only, though. She tells me that it's a sight to behold- that the sky itself is blue, that the grounds are checkered black and white, that if you climb to the top of one of the mountains, it feels as though you can reach out and touch the clouds and feel the air whirl gently around you.

Our mission is to basically explore Skaia, become familiar with the inner workings and mappings of the battlefield, and to take measure of all of the newer species that are to be found anywhere on the planet. It's supposed to last for at least a month.

I'm excited, actually. Scared, but excited. The shuttle is built for space traveling- the jump from Derse to Skaia, that is- so the windows are reinforced with glass charmed to be unbreakable, courtesy of the members of the Horrorterrors. It's not very interesting. As I peer outside, all I see is the endless black of the void and the far-off purple speck that is Derse.

Part of our first trip to Skaia includes taking one of the Commanders with us. That's the middle-aged guy who's sitting to the front of the shuttle, the one with the steel-frame glasses and the easygoing smile. Commander Darius, I've heard, is one of the best fighters in the kingdom. It's a pity he's planning to leave soon; apparently, he's getting married, and he wants to be there for the children.

He talked with me earlier about my father and said that he was sorry to see him go. For some reason, I believed him.

And then he ruined the whole thing by saying that I had my father's eyes, and that he expected no less from a child of Commander Ardenwell. I pasted on a fake smile the rest of the conversation before Kairan rescued me by making up some bullshit excuse about my journal and an upended ink pot, which actually turned out to be filled with chocolate chips. Yum.

The rest of the recruits are either napping or peering around. Awkward silence. At least Commander Darius is trying to remedy that by talking about our destination. We've still got around ten minutes left to go, and I want to stretch my legs, but the walking strip in between is too short- I'll probably annoy the recruit sitting in front of me.

I wish that the shuttle ride could've been built a little more spaceship-like, not just a empty husk of metal between us and space. Kairan's been trying to scare me by saying that by being this far from any of the planets, even the tiniest hole in the hull can rip the inside to shreds. Hah. Very funny, Kairan. (And yes, I know you'll read this later.)

The cool blue of the lights at our feet bathe our faces in dark shadows. Commander Darius says it's to prevent us from being blinded when we step off of the shuttle. The air smells way too antiseptic, and the seats aren't exactly comfortable, but Kairan doesn't seem to notice. She's fairly bouncing with excitement as she trades conversation with the Commander.

Oh, we're almost there! I am really anticipating this.

I'll update you with more later, maybe this afternoon if I can.

-PA

Log Date: don't know

Time: don't fucking care

---

Hi. Kairan here. Sorry about the ink splotch on the back of the diary. The ink well leaked when I dropped the bag onto the ground.

Now that we've got the pleasantries aside...

We are complete idiots.

To sum it all up, Point got her horns handed to her and is currently out cold with a nice bruise on her head, which is why I'm writing and she isn't. You'll also find me much nicer to read, heh.

She's sleeping it off right now. And before you start yelling at me about how unwise it is to allow someone with what you call a 'concussion' to sleep, don't believe everything that passes through your auricular sponge clots: sleeping actually allows for her think pan to relax and for the swelling to go down. Don't worry, I'm shaking her every so often to make sure she isn't dead yet or anything.

She left out a couple things in her last entry. Which is probably a big relief to you, since you have no idea what is happening right now. Why I'm talking like I think someone else other than Point is going to read this, I have no idea, especially since I'm guarding this thing with my life because it now has freakin' Kairan Sendar's thoughts recorded into it. Did I just inadvertently jinx myself? Sure. Am I going to die in a horrible fashion because of it? Dunno. And don't tell me to knock on wood, because we're stuck in a cave right now.

I'm cold. And miserable. And my digestion bag is rumbling. I could try eating some of this lichen here, but I don't think that would agree with me.

Whoa, got off track. Sorry. Here's what really happened.

Skaia is not all fun and sunshine and fucking multicolored bridges. Sure, it has a blue sky, and it never really gets dark, but there are things here that you probably can't imagine, even if I tried to explain it to you with my superior troll terminology. Again with the pesky 'limitless-ness' problem that Skaia has. We've gotten some really weird shipments of supposedly edible fruits the worker carapaces harvest, but that's another story for later.

Anyways, those 'things' include creatures. Really, really big ones with huge fangs and clawed feet and slavering jaws.

We got separated from the rest of the group when we wandered into the middle of a herd of those very same creatures. Someone decided to be a fuckass and aggravated one of the smaller ones until the whole entire damn herd came to its fucking "rescue." Commander Darius took down six of them before another enraged creature-thing smashed him into the trees. Like a heroic idiot, Point got taken out when her sword got stuck into one of the things' horns (ouch!) and flung her head-over-heels into a bunch of rocks.

We picked up Point and ran for it, hiding in the cave until the herd calmed down and stopped trying to look for us. She wasn't the only one who got out of this with injuries. I think one of the carapaces broke their arm, and there's a big scratch down the side of my leg that's just stopped bleeding. It itches. I wonder if this lichen has anti-inflammatory properties.

Jegus Christ, why do I keep thinking about the lichen? There's nothing special about it, except for the fact that it's green, like my blood. And it glows.

After leaving her in the cave, we tried looking for Darius, but we couldn't find anything except for a whole lot of splinters in our hands afterwards.

Three of the recruits are heading back to the shuttle, the cowards. The other four are currently still looking for Darius, because he's the only one who knows where our default camp is set up. One, the medic of the group, is taking care of Point. She's a quiet carapace, pretty short and timid. I tried annoying her a couple times to get a response out of her, but she's either really shy or really patient. Whatever.

This wasn't the greatest start to our (or their) first mission, but we'll be fine. Trust me. I've been in the military far longer than Point has, and I've yet to have someone die on me anywhere, much less Skaia.

More whenever I feel like writing.

-KS-

Log Date: not bothering
wow I have some angsty bullshit on here
Point and I are an angsty bunch
might as well make it a feelings talk
my thinkpan's going to burst if I can't put it somewhere

Time: pretty sure it's around midnight

---

I'm getting worried.

Point hasn't woken up yet. The medic carapace said she couldn't do anything else until she did, and I told her that if Point woke up as a vegetable, I'd demote her to changing the bedpans of the patients in the severe aid unit.

Just kidding.

Anyways, Darius was found minus his glasses and plus some cracked ribs, but he'll live. Everyone's come back, though I snarled at the others who tried to board the shuttle (and it was locked, the suckers. Hah.) He directed us to the camp. We just finished setting up. The medic carapace, as it turns out, is good at cooking as well. Most of us have gone to sleep already, or like me, just wandering around the camp boundaries with a cup of soup in hand.

There's not much to see right now. We're situated beneath an overhang. It's a little darker, so that the humans and carapaces can sleep better, and the forest around us provides a rather nice place to rest.

Some things that are bothering me:

Darius-- when we found him, he was coughing up blood.

That's... never a good sign. Duh.

I feel sorry for him. He's got something to go back to when he gets home, and if he comes to harm, it'll all be for naught.

Not to mention Point! I was getting used to her. Geez, why does everyone have to die on me?

I think I miss Alternia.

I was a mid-blood troll, so I wasn't treated too shabbily, and I almost- almost had a moirail. He was a fudge- I mean, brown blood. Quiet guy. Loved FLARPing, though I absolutely despised it. The stupid thing was that he was killed when the invasion occured.

Psychics were the first to go. The limebloods were already probably all killed off by then, and the brownbloods were second. The Skaian soldiers were smart. They'd figured out aspects of the hemospectrum and used it to their advantage.

Maybe we could've been moirails. Maybe I'd have killed him or he'd have been murdered when FLARPing or when I wasn't around to protect him from the highbloods. There are a thousand maybes, might-have-beens, that would have been possible if the fucking Skaians hadn't decided to massacre us all.

Sentimental feelings are foreign to us. Love and empathy and idiotic human emotions are what I've picked up on Derse, and sometimes, I'm not so sure if I wanted those feelings at all. They complicate things. I think I'd have preferred physical pain over this.

Before, I wouldn't have given a second thought about his death. He was only an almost-moirail, a fudge-blood, after all. The hemospectrum saved me when I had nothing else to rely on. It might not have saved me from the teasing of the highbloods, but it sure as hell protected me from the worst of it.

But sometimes, I still dream of the sight of his blood on a fucking Dersite's blade and the flames that soon burned my home and his to nothing. I killed that human, you know. Laughed and cried and screamed when I saw that mutant blood color on the edge of my weapon. They couldn't stop me from screaming at them, from trying to decapitate anyone I could reach when they tried to usher me into the warship.

I was twelve in human years. One year older than Point Ardenwell when the integration occured.

The grubs had it easy, of course. What did they know?

It was the worst for the older ones. We knew full well what was happening and we tried our fucking best to fight back. We were the first to die. Naturally, the highbloods sent us in ahead to try and stave off the soldiers. The only thing that could describe what happened afterwards was complete destruction.

Somehow, I survived. Revenge and anger being the forefront emotions that drove me forward, of course.

Bah, enough of this stupid sentimental crap. And I'm not even sitting in a pile of anything with a moirail! Humans must be rubbing off of me.

idiot what am I doing?

Point, I blame you.

-KS

and you can fucking update already when you get up. not doing any more of this shit for you.

Log Date:

Time:

Going to keep this short. Everyone's getting ready to leave.

As you can probably see, I'm still alive. It's been four days since that little mishap. The recruit responsible for the entire thing has been sent back to Derse for a little more training until the Commanders feel that he's ready to come back to Skaia. (read: he'll be stuck taking care of the armory stuff for the rest of his army career. Courtesy of Commander Darius, who was not pleased when he found out that he'd been injured that badly.)

God, my back hurts from lying on a paper-thin blanket for four days straight. I also have gorgeous bruises down the side of my neck and shoulders from where I hit the stone.

How does a concussion keep someone asleep for four days? Well, I mean, I wasn't asleep for all of it; I'd probably be dead if I had been.

There aren't any lasting side effects, aside from the wobbly limbs and the headaches, so I guess that's that.

Kairan, I'm sorry. I never knew.

Hey, what does sitting in a pile of anything have to do with... moirails? And feelings?

It's part of our culture. You probably know about it now since it's been around two months before I bothered editing whether or not I ever answered your question here. So I guess it's future-me talking right now?

Well, now you know.

We sound stupid here. Can you get rid of these pages?

Log Date: May 9th, 259

Time: Precisely one second before midnight


Mission fucking accomplished.

Now I'm going to sleep, and if anyone wakes me up, I will behead them.

Eek. I'm sooooo scared.

Well, she's out like a light (snoring away already on my shoulder.) Everyone else is sleeping as well, save for Commander Darius and me.

Hey, can't blame Kairan. Four months away from Derse has made everyone perpetually grouchy- and exhausted- all the time.

Actually, I'm just looking forward to having a proper... bath. With fluffy towels and scented shampoo and water-that's-not-scalding-but-not-just-warm-either. And silk sheets. God, I miss silk sheets. And comforters.

So. The mission. Yes, it's finished. Yes, we're going home. No, Commander Darius has not healed yet. Broken ribs are rather messy when it comes to setting. They nearly drove Mir mad, not being able to give him enough sopor pills to alleviate the pain.

Sopor pills are something the Alternians brought with them when they came to Derse and Prospit. Apparently, in its usual state, it's a sort of slime that trolls sleep in. In medication form, they're a bit like regular painkillers, though they're highly addictive, so Mir had to be careful. They're becoming rarer and rarer since you can't produce them anymore (for what reason I don't know since Kairan won't tell me.)

Oh, Mir. Short for Miriam. Miriam Ayres, the medic carapace Kairan was talking about earlier. She's... quiet. And that's pretty much it. She's a great medic, though.

Let's see... Kairan likes poking fun at the guy over there, Daren Sylveski. Behind those shades of his, he has red eyes. Pretty weird. Every time I catch her trading snarky comments with him, she always smirks at me. I feel like I'm missing something when she does that. Carapace next to him is Azure. Just Azure. I don't know her last name. Pretty grouchy carapace, though she can fight as well as the next soldier around here.

Just gonna squeeze this in here, but I recently found out that Azure and SK are involved in blackrom. Not gonna lie; that's just plain fucking creepy.

Time quips. Point will never know until the later entries. >:]

--KS out!

Oh. Carapace who broke his arm. What's his name again? Forgot. Eh. Whatever.

That guy with the spiked up hair is Tai. How he managed to keep his hair like that without any hair products, I'll never know.

I could go on and on about everyone, but I don't think you'd want to listen. At least I'm almost home. I think that's the worst part of a mission- laboring for months on end and finally getting to go home- that's the part where it just tortures you the most.

Can't wait to get back. Time'll fly, and next thing you know, I'll be on Alternia!

Just kidding. That's something only Lieutenants get to do, and heaven knows I'll barely even be a Lieutenant. Ever.

-PA

Log Date: May 12th, 259

Time: Some ungodly hour in the morning.


I guess that I'm supposed to be eating breakfast but Kairan insisted on waking me up early to get to the archery range.

She's eating all of my food.

Her response is "shut up it's not my fault that your choice in food is so gmrrgphg." How eloquent, Kairan. You deserve an award for the level of fluidity you display in your vocabulary. I'm guessing she spoke with her mouth full; I don't particularly care for looking up to check whether or not I'm right. Gross.


Hey, fuck you. Christ, you're a bitch.

12/3/ 260: No, what's pathetic is that you would take this diary and snipe at past me instead of coming over and talking.

You didn't get rid of those pages yet.

12/4/260: I think I deserve a laugh now and then when I want to listen to your petty whining.

I'm not sorry. Not one bit. Yeah, go off to beg Darius for a trip to Skaia and ditch me here like a coward. Stupid. You even left your diary here, dumpass. Now I'm going to graffiti everywhere.

12/26/260: I didn't think you would go that far. Kairan, I already apologized. I think it's about time you stop acting like a petulant petulant my ass; you're the one who threw a hissy fit first child.
12/28/260: I know you're still reading this.

You blamed me, and you're still protecting him?

1/5/261: I won't tell.


Mornings are usually terribly quiet, especially when it's three in the godforsaken morning argh Kairan I don't want to stop that I'm not going to give you the pen

Dude, Point needs to get her lazy head off the goddamn table and start eating some of this cereal. My God, this stuff is heavenly. Come on; stop moping. I've got something to show you.

She could've just said that out loud, but I guess it's for the diary's benefit.


Now at the archery range. Nothing interesting is happening. Nothing is here except for early morning mist and a couple stray arrows. I am tired.

.....We found a tunnel. She found a tunnel, to be exact. It led to a solid brick wall somewhere in the vicinity of the castle, though I'm curious as to what lies beyond that wall. I think it was the remnants of one of the old escape tunnels they built when we were still at war with Prospit. It looked like something carved out with shovels, anyways. Kairan found a shiny crystal dagger and I found half of a firearm. Both are cleaned and lying on the kitchen table. I wonder if I can get the firearm to work. I need to ask one of the engineers, though.

Nearly got killed when a section caved in. We were also freezing our butts off.

We spent six hours wandering around in there. We got kind of lost.

Oh. I left my dagger back in there when the leather belt got snagged on a rock. I'll go back tomorrow to get it, though to be honest, that was a completely stupid idea. Kairan, remind me to never go exploring with you again.

But I think I'll have some breakfast first. It is still nine in the morning, after all.

Log Date: November 9th, 259

Time: Lunch


The food here is sub-par. I'm not very hungry.

Hence why I brought you down here to write in! Kairan's out for now- probably training more- and on a bright note, she's finally brought my dagger to the mechanics to hone to a sharper point. Ever since that dungeon incident, it's remained dull.

Whatever happened in the tunnels... let's just say that I'm not keen on going back anytime soon. I can still taste the air on my tongue- antiseptic and bloody, and that soggy dirt underfoot was most certainly not water.

I don't know what was beyond that wall, and I...

I don't think it's wise to go back.

Anyways, I made another friend at the archery range. Tyrius Cabral isn't a bad shot. He's also a troll- tall, of slim build, and he always wears a pair of welding goggles around his neck. He's adapted pretty well to Derse; I heard that he was troll-raised and had recently been introduced into the society by a nobleman who adopted him after his caretaker died.

I don't see what's the deal with blood color. He doesn't seem to care much for it, anyways, though I'm sure that his is blue.

He has the most extraordinary eyes. Dark blue, like mine.

I've asked him about why he never accompanied us to Skaia, and he replied that he'd been busy.

He's such an excellent soldier. Why would he not want to go? Interplanetary travel is much cooler than everyone takes for granted, and Skaia's amazing.

At any rate, he's nice enough. Maybe even a little too formal, but he has the most amazing talent for making all of us laugh. It's strange, seeing a troll being so charismatic. That comment might be a little biased, but I haven't met many trolls that are willing to join us and willingly accepted.

I plan to change that. I'm sure he and Kairan will get along pretty well.

Mir's asked me to join her for lunch a few weeks from now. I wonder if she'll mind if I bring Tyrius along.

He's nicer than most of the people I've met in the military base. I hope he'll stay, at any rate.

10/4/260: He lied to me.

He lied to all of us.

Log Date: November 21st, 259

Time: Dunno. Too lazy to check.

I went on that lunch date with Mir earlier today. Just got back.... well, estimate whenever you think it is from what I see outside the window: no one and darkness.

It's probably one. Or two. Kind of lost track of time after I met Tyrius in a repair shop, of all places. After Mir and I parted from the cafe, I wandered around Derse for a bit. Momentarily got lost.

He showed me around the marketplace after I bumped into him. I hope he didn't mind me bumbling into his business. Looked like he was getting something fixed up, or at least haggling with the shopkeeper, and that's putting the term 'haggling' a bit too lightly. He should change mechanics, anyways. Whoever he was dealing with didn't look too happy with him, and that person was a troll. Pretty high on their hemospectrum, too, I think. Purple or something.

Weird. Didn't see Kairan anywhere today either. She's still not back, either. I'll run back out to search for her in a few more hours if she doesn't come back soon. Trainer Azure is pretty strict about attendance, and it wouldn't do to have a half-dead Kairan trying to spar during practice.

I learned a little more about Tyrius Cabral today. He is a blueblood, from what he told me. A little older than Kairan; didn't take the invasion of the Skaians well, but adapted well after his lusus died. A noble family took him in- the Cressida House, I believe. They're pretty high up on the social ladder. I remember their son. Stuck up little pig. Bleargh. We were only thirteen and he kept prattling on about his father's private ship, blah blah blah, a bunch of unimportant stuff.

That aside, Tyrius's kind. Really, really kind. I was surprised when he offered to take me out again during the weekend, when we had our day off. Usually, other trainees use that time to go back to visit their families, but I'm not complaining!

Didn't get to introduce Kairan to him yet. I asked him whether or not he knew her, and he answered that he didn't.

Funny. Usually all of the trolls on the force know each other. I'll have to introduce them someday.

One of the highlights of today was when he brought me out to one of the observatory decks on the moon. From there, he showed me where to look to see the constellation clusters, where Alternia was, how you could see the blue of Skaia even from Derse. We spent the rest of the afternoon talking in one of the bars.

Oh, another strange thing- probably just the excitement of the day, but everything's a blur after the bar. Don't worry- I didn't drink that much, I think...

But I'm looking forward to seeing Tyrius again!

-PA

Log Date: November 26th, 259

Time: not important


Look, Point.

You need to stop talking with Cabral. He's nothing but bad news. I know you have a flush crush on him and all, blah blah blah, you'd bear his grubs, but no. Trust me, that guy is nothing but bad news, and if you stay around him any longer, you'll fuck things up.

You know him? And how will I 'fuck things up' if I stay around him?

He's a hazard to your health. If you value your life, you'll stay away from him.

Sounds to me that someone's getting territorial. Why do you care so much, anyways? You haven't even met the guy.

I HAVE. Point, you need to listen to me, goddamnit.

Can't you talk to me in person? I haven't seen you in days. And why would you hide it from me, if you knew Tyrius? Did he lie to me?

No. Stop asking so many questions.

I'm your friend! I think I deserve to know. This game of note-passing is getting ridiculous. Would you rather me go straight to Cabral and ask him what's going on with you two?

Gaaaaaaaaaaah, no, no! Don't do that! Listen, I'll tell you later. Not now.

Answer me this, at least, Kairan! Am I in danger?

I'm sorry.

Kairan!

Log Date: November 29th, 259

Time: 5:08:19

Dear Diary.


This is the last time I'll be talking to you.

I can't take it anymore. Kairan's gone all of the Time, and the others are starting to suspect that I had something to do with it. They knew I had a row with her. They heard.

I don't expect You to understand. Instead of going to the superiors, I'd Rather solve this on my own. I've already burdened enough people with my problems. It's not worth it. I'm done. I don't Understand why Kairan would do this- Start these rumors or lies or suspicions or whatever she's been doing to conspire against me.

I Can't.

I can do it, you know. I've a sword and the resources and a thousand ways to end my life. It's not worth it. I don't-

I can't-

Don't question me.

Want to know more? You can go and ask Kairan when she gets back from wherever she's been.

To understand the motive behind someone's suicide, you have to just dig a little deeper.

Do take my emotions into consideration.

This will be my last entry.


Signed,

Point Ardenwell.

it was fake couldn't you tell it was FAKE

--

Hold on, Point.

--

(somewhere between daybreak and night.)

I got too close and-

--

I know; hush. Point, I'm sorry.

Tyrius Cabral is not a good man. I should've told you earlier, but I was afraid that you'd turn me in.

--

You don't trust me?

--

I didn't trust him. He threatened me with your life more than once. He said he swore he'd-

--

He almost did.

--

I didn't know he was a psychic. I swear to God, I didn't know. He'd disguised his blood color with contacts, and we'd never bled him out before to see. I swear, Point, I didn't know. Please come back.

--

You didn't trust me with the knowledge that you were helping build those tunnels for the refugees with the other trolls?

--

They're dangerous. They don't trust you. After he made you write that note and disappear so the Commanders thought that you...

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I know.

I wouldn't have given you up.

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It's over and he's dead. I killed him. No one else knows- swear to God, stick a fucking needle in my eye- your sword if you want- it was my fault-

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You don't need to apologize.

I'll be back soon.